Downsizing for a loved one - a personal experience
To embark upon any home move can be a major stress but when you are moving a parent or parents, your stress can hit the roof as close emotional bonds are always tested! I know this only too well as I moved my mother from her bungalow to her new apartment. Aged 92, I knew this would be no mean feat but it turned out to be a job well done!
We often resist “letting go” of things to avoid the emotional experience that feels all too final. Throughout our lives we make attachments to important people, places and possessions. Our home is no different and feelings we attach to our home can vary from person to person. In my mother’s case, she had been bereaved three and a half years before her move which added another dimension to letting go as it reawakened her most recent loss.
My mother is a social being and she craved the company of new friends, whom she could have a natter, have a laugh and share secrets! It doesn’t matter how old you are, good company and a bit of fun makes for a better world and can magic your aches and pains away! We know that there is much evidence proving how social isolation can lead to depression and/or physical illness. Decision made - we were on the way to improving my mother’s wellbeing and quality of life.
As a professional organiser (and in this case daughter too), I dealt with the property developers and associates, solicitors, estate agents and others. Decluttering a three bedroom bungalow and slimming everything down to
a one bedroom apartment was a challenge for sure but it proved reachable. It can take time and patience to sort through items and decide what to let go and what to keep. Sometimes people feel they need to
hold onto everything to keep good memories alive and to avoid the gripping feelings of loss. It is therefore very important to talk about the feelings attached to belongings and their accompanying memories to enable the process. When helping anyone through such a move, it requires your sensitivity and understanding.
My mother is quite sassy, she knows her own mind and likes things a certain way. Forget she’s 92 because you wouldn’t believe it if you saw her, she’s a brave lady and knows in her heart what is in her best interest. It’s been a challenge to restart somewhere new but she has done it! With a guiding hand, support and reassurance she has got there. Now 93, she has made new friends and she enjoys her activities that her independent living community affords her.
As a professional organiser, I absolutely love working with the older generation who are downsizing and I can help you to be move ready as well as post move settled! Please contact me for more information.